A Shoulder To Cry On
by EdyFerrone
Summary: AU in which, Sebastian graduated at the end of S3 and then accidentally ended up living with Rachel and Kurt in New York. They became close and that's why he is the one to comfort Kurt after his awful break-up with Blaine.


So, some anon prompted "Bas is Kurt's best friend and he tries to comfort him after his break-up with Blaine" in my ask, and voilà. Here it is! I hope it's just what the OP wanted and that he/she is happy with it! Obviously, I hope you guys enjoy too. Lemme know what you think about it! - xoxo

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The only thing lighting up the space surrounding him is the screen of their TV while he is sprawled on the couch. He preferred staying at home tonight instead of going out with Finchel and Klaine, and if he has to be honest with himself, the reason is pretty clear: he is head over heels for Kurt. He won't tell him and he wouldn't risk ruining their friendship, but he's falling for him more and more as days go by. And then there's Blaine, Blaine who means everything to Kurt, Blaine who is special to him, Blaine who apparently loves Kurt hard enough not to risk losing him over a stupid one night stand with Sebastian.

And Sebastian might have enjoyed that, might have wanted Blaine so bad in the past, but right now, the feeling is all lost in some deep part of his brain. It's not because Blaine is any less hot than he was one year ago (in fact, Sebastian thinks the bread growing on his face makes him even sexier), not really. It's mostly because everytime he looks at Blaine, Blaine is with Kurt, and with the blossoming feelings for him growing in his chest, Sebastian can't distract himself from jealousy.

And that's the only thing he feels towards Blaine. All the rest has been soothed to nothing if compared. Add to that the fact that Kurt has become sort of his best friend since he's moved to New York after high school, and here is how Sebastian can't think about Blaine in that way anymore.

Tonight even less, considering that Blaine has travelled across the country only to come and meet Kurt in New York when they were expected to see each other in two weeks or something. He can't win over this. Even if he didn't want to screw his teasing friendship with Kurt by interfering with their relationship, he couldn't handle the comparison. Blaine is such a romantic and Sebastian … well, Sebastian is just Sebastian. He can hardly give Kurt what he wants.

That doesn't explain why he is being so masochistic tonight though.

With all the crappy TV shows he could watch (the ones he loves so much and that make Kurt and Rachel roll their eyes all the time when he forces them to watch – Brody being the only one to share some interest), he is stupidly forcing himself to watch Moulin Rouge instead. He doesn't know why his stomach clenches painfully during Come What May. It's probably because Rachel has told him so many times what the song means to Kurt, the importance of it – in a clear attempt to scold Sebastian for some involuntarily flirting (it's still Sebastian Smythe after all, there are times when he just can't keep it, no matter how hard he tries).

Rachel is so good at bringing people down, but tonight Sebastian is actually doing most of it all by himself. No need to get it from Kurt's protective best friend.

Kurt is out there in New York with Blaine right now and Sebastian is stuck on the couch, listening to the fucking love song Kurt wants to sing with Blaine at their wedding and all the days after until his dying day. It's so stupid of him to do so.

He's cursing himself in his head when he hears the door go open and he turns abruptly. Kurt is walking in, alone, holding himself in his own arms and kicking the door closed behind his back. He quickly turns off the TV – because, honestly? It would super embarrassing for him to be caught watching that.

"Kurt?" Sebastian calls him but Kurt doesn't even look at him.

His gaze is focused on the floor and he stalks quickly towards the bedroom, ignoring Sebastian like he doesn't exist. Sebastian isn't sure if he has done something to deserve this, but of course his proud attitude won't let him accept it so easily. Plus, he is very good at annoying people when they are in a mood, it's like he can't keep it.

"Kurt?" He calls after him, standing up from the couch and following him through the room. "Hey, don't ignore me."

He enters the door-less room but freezes there when he notices that Kurt is sitting on his bed, elbows on his knees, and face buried in his hands, sobbing loudly. Of course Kurt ran from him because even though they're friends now, he feels like he has to hide his weaknesses.

"Kurt …" He calls more softly, the quiet sobs coming from Kurt making his heart break. He doesn't want Kurt to cry, doesn't want him to be sad. "What happened?"

"Go away, Sebastian." Kurt growls from where his face is sunk in his hands. His voice comes out a little huffed, but Sebastian gets it anyway.

"Talk to me?" Sebastian steps closer slowly, "Please?"

"No." Kurt cries out a little childishly, but Sebastian can let it slide for tonight. "I just … don't feel like talking."

"I do." Sebastian shrugs and shoves his hands in his pockets, not daring to get closer to Kurt's bed. He knows Kurt needs his space sometimes, doesn't want to be too intrusive. "What happened? Is everybody okay? Where are the others?"

"Coming home." Kurt murmurs on his skin. "I ran away."

Sebastian stands still, shifting from one foot to another and trying to be as patient as he can. He won't get mad at Kurt while Kurt is crying. He has never seen him cry for anything that wasn't a movie or something like that.

"Why did you?" He lifts his eyebrows though Kurt can't see it.

"Blaine, he …" Kurt groans but then he stops like he can't add anything to that. A few seconds go by before he manages to speak again. "I feel so humiliated and ridiculous; please don't make me say it out loud."

Sebastian hates it, hates the way Kurt is hurting. He has no idea what happened with Blaine, if Blaine _has done_ something or was involved in something. He can't pick up the pieces together because Kurt says he feels humiliated and Sebastian doesn't know what could cause it. Therefore, he steps a little closer and sighs in deeply before he finds the strength to pull the following words out loud.

"Do you need cuddles?" He asks softly, blushing just a little at how stupid that sounds. "I mean, I fucking hate it, but if you need it, I guess, huh, could stand cuddling for one night."

This must get Kurt's attention, because he finally lifts his face from his own palms.

His eyes look freaking swollen and red and suddenly Sebastian feels like punching Blaine in the face before he even knows if he has actually done something to make Kurt so upset. He looks broken in the worst way Sebastian has ever seen him, and Sebastian knows Kurt's not the kind of a guy who cries like this out of place. It makes him feel hurt, but Sebastian tries not to show it to him, mostly because he isn't comfortable with sharing his own feeling with other people, not even when it comes to Kurt.

When Kurt doesn't say anything and he is about to sink his face in his hands again, Sebastian swallows and speaks once more.

"Let me just … we really don't have to talk about it," he says and presses his lips together while Kurt looks at him again, "I'm not going to judge you or make fun of you. I'm not going to do anything, just please, don't shut me out."

Sebastian has no idea where that came from, doesn't know why he is letting his cold walls down for a moment. All that he knows is that after Kurt has taken care of him for the last few months, cooking for him, making his bed and stuff – like he does with Rachel – Sebastian isn't that indifferent to his sadness anymore. He doesn't want to be pushed away when all that he feels like is being close.

Kurt doesn't say anything, but he silently moves to sit a few inches on the right. Sebastian knows it's not about space. There was enough space for him to sit there already. Kurt is just giving him a silent permission. Now that he has got it, Sebastian finally moves in closer until he sits on the bed next to Kurt. From this new position, the closeness allows him to see perfectly just how much Kurt must have cried. Fuck, he looks so wonderful when he cries, Sebastian feels _guilty_ for staring in wonder while his friend is so evidently aching.

Kurt scoots in closer, a little clumsily, which makes it clear that he is a little confused about sharing such an intimate space with Sebastian too. He tilts his head and presses his temple onto Sebastian's shoulder, but his body is stiff as if he's holding from something. When Kurt finally lets go and starts sobbing again, Sebastian realizes that he was trying to keep himself from crying; which is stupid and proud, because Sebastian said he's not going to make fun of him or anything.

No matter how childish it seems though, Sebastian is already wrapping his arms around Kurt's shoulders.

He tugs him closer and as soon as he does, Kurt buries himself in his chest and lets go completely, crying loudly and shaking in his arms. Sebastian feels like he's broken, his own eyes filled with tears. But he can't allow himself to cry, not when he needs to be Kurt's anchor.

"Kurt," He breathes in and rests his cheek through Kurt's hair, stroking his arm with his hand, "If you want to talk-"

Kurt immediately stiffens in his arms and Sebastian rolls his eyes at himself because_ fuck_, why must he be so good at screwing things up? He needs to do something to fix it.

"No, babe," He bites his lower lip when he realizes he's just used the nickname. He's never called Kurt nicknames, _fuck_, "I meant that we can talk if you want to, not that _we have to_. Don't feel obliged or anything. I just … want you to know that … I'm here."

The words are out before he can stop them. It makes him a little uncomfortable at knowing that he is opening himself to Kurt like this. But he can't take it back now, not when Kurt needs a shoulder to cry on for some reasons that he doesn't know about yet.

"I'm here." He whispers once more, mouthing through Kurt's hair and being a little surprised at himself when he places a kiss there.

After that, they stay in silence. Sebastian has no idea how long they spend like this – Kurt crying loudly in his arms and shaking so much that Sebastian doesn't know how to make him stop – but it could be forever. Kurt clears his throat a few times but doesn't seem capable of voicing his thoughts. Eventually, he puts his hand on Sebastian's t-shirt and tugs it just a little before he speaks.

"Blaine," He says at first, incapable of adding anything to the name; Sebastian doesn't push it, he just wants patiently. "Blaine cheated on me."

Sebastian is pretty sure his blood is pulsing right to his temples and his eyes are wide. His heart starts hammering in his chest and he suddenly feels like Blaine had cheated on him too somehow. Even though he lives with Kurt, he has never even _considered_ flirting for real since Rachel and he had mercy on him and decided he could live with them, and that was because he knew Kurt _had Blaine_. He knew what Blaine and Kurt had was too special for him to get in the way of them.

"He was with someone," Kurt is murmuring breathlessly, unable to stop crying, "With someone else, he was with someone and it wasn't me."

Sebastian doesn't hush him, doesn't tell him to stop. It hurts to hear that but he can't cut him. He has said to Kurt that he could vent if he wanted to, so he is not going to take that back because it hurts. And he's not even going to allow himself to think about the consequences of what this might mean for them. Right now, Kurt needs him more as a friend than he would need him as a crusher.

"He cheated on me like it didn't matter," Kurt groans and presses his face against Sebastian as if he is wiping his tears on his t-shirt. He is probably, but Sebastian can't bring himself to care. He just keeps on stroking Kurt and occasionally pressing kisses on his head.

He tries to ignore the way his heart skips a beat everytime he does, but it's so hard for him to put someone else before him. Sebastian is so, so used to put his personal interest first that he is surprised that he hasn't taken advantage of Kurt's weakness. He knows it would be easy. Kurt is strong but right now he is exposed and unsure, and it would be so easy to just worship him to get what he wants.

And yet he _can't_.

He can't take advantage of Kurt after someone has broken him like this. Jeez, _Blaine _has done this. It's not just someone. He is probably the person Kurt loves the most, the person _he trusted _the most. There's nothing that can heal that damage right now, but at least he can soothe the fall; and taking advantage of Kurt's failing is not the right way to do it.

"He's an asshole." Sebastian whispers, resting his cheek on Kurt's head and holding him just a little more tightly. "He is a fucking asshole and he doesn't deserve anything from you."

"I caused it." Kurt sobs stupidly and Sebastian could really slap him right now, very hard. "I didn't pick up his calls, I was distant, I-"

"_Kurt_." Sebastian moves back and quickly grabs Kurt's face in his palms to look at him. He tries not to let the pain caused from the sight of his face show. The tip of his nose is red, his eyes are too, and he looks like he has cried for ages. "Don't fucking do that. Don't fucking justify him like you don't matter."

"Why would I matter?" Kurt spits defensively and Sebastian guesses he's like this when he feels attacked. "You hate me. You said it yourself, I'm a gay face who wears girl clothes all the time and why would one boy stick with me when he can have more?"

Sebastian breathes in slowly, trying to keep some control over his sudden anger and looking straight into Kurt's eyes.

"I'm not slapping you in the face because you look hurt already." He whispers threateningly. "But … stop that. You are … a person, no matter what, and no one deserves to get this hurt because they didn't pick up a phone call."

"It was more than one-"

"Shut up." Sebastian throws out when he can't keep it anymore. Kurt's features get harder and Sebastian knows he's about to be pulled away, but he keeps his hands strictly on his face. "You're my friend now." He says, trying to hold the words that he is so much more. _Not now_, he thinks to himself. "I'm not going to let you think this was your fault. Lie down."

"What?" Kurt frowns and looks like he's about to push Sebastian away.

"Lie down." Sebastian murmurs more softly. "Lie down and get some sleep."

Kurt looks hesitant but the sweet tone must buy him because he replies more gently.

"I don't think I'll sleep. I'm just going to see faceless guys having sex with my boyfriend … ex-boyfriend? I don't even know …" Kurt starts sobbing once more and Sebastian immediately hugs him and presses him to his torso.

He hates the fact that Kurt is even _considering_ still dating Blaine. In his opinion, Blaine doesn't deserve it and Kurt shouldn't want it, not after tonight. He is about to tell Kurt to not consider it because he's worth it more than that when he hears the door of the apartment go open. He knows they're coming back, Kurt said they were.

"Lie down, please?" Sebastian asks softly, tugging Kurt back to get him to look into his eyes. "I'll take care of it."

Sebastian is actually expecting Kurt to snap at him and tell him to mind his own business before he throws himself into Blaine's arms. But that doesn't happen. He is amazingly surprised when Kurt scoots away from him and looks into his eyes for a few moments more before leaning in. Sebastian thinks he is about to die from the sudden speed up of his heartbeat and he almost guesses Kurt is about to kiss him. But he knows Kurt. He would never do such a stupid thing in such a delicate moment.

Kurt does kiss him, on his cheek, and then whispers a soft and amazing 'thank you' before lying on the bed and crawling tiredly to the pillows.

Sebastian breathes in once more and keeps his eyes shut for a moment before he finally stands up and walks out of the room and into the open space of their apartment. Blaine is in the kitchen, arms on the counter and head leant down. Sebastian knows he is probably hurt from what he himself has done but he can't bring himself to fucking care, not when Kurt was so shocked, crying in his arms. So he stalks to the other boy quickly and he is very surprised at himself for the fact that he isn't punching Blaine straight in the face.

"Why did you do this to him?" He says though, cold as ice and threatening for the matter.

Blaine shakes his head and he doesn't turn to look at Sebastian, so Sebastian can't actually see his face from there.

"He's heart-broken, I have no idea how to fix what you did." He whispers, so that Kurt won't hear. "I have no idea how to make him stop crying!"

Blaine looks up to him and his eyes are almost as swollen and wet as Kurt's. Almost. A lot of time ago, Sebastian would have care more about Blaine, but he lives with Kurt now and Kurt has grown on him and got under his skin somehow.

"Do you think I don't know that?" Blaine sighs and looks away from Sebastian – as if he doesn't feel comfortable with showing his own pain to him. "I'm sorry and it wasn't my intention – let me just talk to him-"

"Forget about that." Sebastian rolls his eyes and Blaine looks at him again like he saw this coming. "I hope the couch is comfortable enough for you, because you're not sleeping with Kurt tonight."

Blaine sinks his face in the arms he has leant on the counter but doesn't complain or say anything about it. Sebastian's chest clenches a little at the sight because it looks like Blaine is actually sorry for what he did. It doesn't make him feel more understanding though, not when he has got Kurt to take care of.

"It's … going to be fine." Blaine says, although he doesn't sound convinced.

Sebastian ignores the little hesitation that pushes him into comforting Blaine just a little because hey, Blaine is the one who's made a terrible mistake and he's supposed to suffer from it too. It wouldn't be fair if he didn't even feel hurt. With the best nonchalant attitude he manages to put up, he walks away from him and back to the room where Kurt is sleeping.

He clumsily takes off his domestic shirt and kicks off his slippers, climbing on the bed, pulling the covers over himself and Kurt – which it's complicated from the way Kurt was lying on them. He tries his best not to wake him up and he thinks he has succeeded until he finally rests his head on the pillow and Kurt clears his throat. Sebastian can't see him because he's behind his back, but he's sure Kurt is about to speak.

"Where is he?" He asks indeed, his voice weak but still so freaking hopeful that it makes Sebastian even angrier.

"On the couch." Sebastian groans unhappily. "Go back to sleep."

Kurt seems like he's about to add something, scooting nervously on the bed as if he's looking for some sort of heat or closeness. Sebastian sighs a little but then moves in, his arms coming to wrap around Kurt's shoulders until they're spooning. Kurt pushes back into the touch immediately, almost as if he was waiting for it – which is a surprise. They've never been so close and intimately pressed together, but Sebastian will let his anti-PDA attitude go off for one night. Only because Kurt is hurting and he wouldn't have the guts to push him away with that awareness.

They both move in and Sebastian dares to rest his chin on Kurt's shoulder. Kurt stiffens for a moment and Sebastian totally gets it that it is from the intimacy of it all (because he feels the same way), so he doesn't move. Instead, his arms fall down to wrap around Kurt's waist and he tugs him a little closer until Kurt's hips are leant against his crotch. Sebastian's cheek comes to rest on Kurt's neck and he breathes in Kurt's scent, trying not to get too many conflicted feelings from it.

"He cheated on me …" Kurt murmurs, sobbing just slightly. Sebastian holds him tighter, can't help but do so.

"Shhh, sleep, Kurt." He suggests once more, softly, and then Kurt finally does.

That is when Sebastian lets go a little, abandons the walls that usually keep him safe and grounded. He feels disgustingly sorry at the thought, but he likes being so close to Kurt. It saddens him that he had to wait for Kurt to get hurt to have a chance to hold him. It makes him feel sick that he enjoys his smell, the heat coming from his body. He'd want to be able to live through it more, to kiss Kurt and maybe whisper to him about how dangerously Sebastian is falling for him (it's not even the first time that Sebastian thinks about doing all these things; but it's surely the first person he considers doing them with).

But he doesn't do any of these things, doesn't even press a kiss to Kurt's cheek – which he could, considering that Kurt is the one who kissed his cheek in the first place (it's silly, but Sebastian feels like he can almost feel the heat of Kurt's mouth pressed near his cheekbone still; it's impossible, but his mind seems to be in the mood to play tricks on him tonight of all nights). He just places his face in the soft crook of Kurt's neck, his skin feeling amazing and perfect, and tries to sleep. He isn't sure he can do it, not when he's afraid that Kurt might wake up at every moment from some kind of nightmare and be stupid enough not to wake Sebastian up.

He just needs to drop it all for now and just behave like a friend. Once Kurt will be better, Blaine will have a hard time to get him back, because Sebastian plans on having his own chance.

He'll get it when Kurt is going to recover from the eventual break-up though, because Sebastian has no intentions of opening his heart to him if Kurt is just going to need a rebound. Also, he doesn't want Kurt to _think_ he likes him in any way only because he can get to the person he actually wants without feeling deadly wounded as he's felt tonight.

It can't be that hard. All Sebastian will need to do is to be patient and then make Kurt fall for him.


End file.
